It seems that the topic of openers is all the rage lately. (or hasn’t it always been?) What are good openers? Will Mystery openers still work? Are canned openers good?
Mike Stoute and I did a podcast about openers a few months ago, but I feel that its time to write on the subject again. And I want to hear some comments and feedback to see what all of you think about the topic.
It seems that people love googling openers looking for the page of perfect ones to use in bars/clubs/banks/hot dog stands/Wallmarts…. I think that is why Neil Struass’s book became so famous. Because it gave a lot of people a handbook of what to say to a girl to start a conversation. Essentially, that is all an opener is. A conversation starter. So in reality anything that you say to a girl is an opener. So what makes a good opener?
The reason that openers Mystery uses or Style or any of the other canned ones that have become popular of the years, are so good is because they are non threatening, topical (mainly topics girls might be interested in) and they are sometimes comic, always lite… meaning the topics are never depressing, never political, never racial, never anything that can be angrily argued about. Remember the topics at times are supposed to cause arguements (who lies more… floss before or after… is kissing cheating….) but the openers cause flirty type of arguments… not real heated win or lose type arguements.
So are canned openers good? If it takes using a canned opener to get you to have the confidence to open your mouth in front of a girl then by all means use them. What I did when I was first starting out years ago was I bought the book The Art of Approaching and basically took the 50 or so openers he gives you in there and studied them. I looked for the reasons that they work. I read about how to deliver them. I memorized the punchlines.. the hooks, the routines… but I never used them in the field. I took everything I learned in the amazing book and constructed my own “canned” openers. These were original openers, that better matched my unique personality. I used the outlines he gave and wrote openers that actually interested me.
For instance the question “Do you floss before or after brushing” became my opener “That piece of meat in a wonton soup… what the hell is it?”
The opener “Is kissing cheating?’ became “Would you let your fiance go to Rio de Janiero on his honeymoon?’
“You have a real confident way about you” became “You have a friendly air about you, you must not be from New Jersey.
The jealous girl friend opener became “Would you be mad if your boyfriend slept with Jennifer Annsiton?”
This is how I got by in the beginning. I created a whole shit load of openers that brought up topics I liked and started using
them. As I used them more and more I began to see a pattern of how girls reacted to them.. From there I started developing routines to lead into. Sometimes I cheated and used a Mystery routine, (back then they weren’t so cliche) but more and more I began making up the routines on the spot. By reading books like Magic Bullets (previously the VAH) I was able to see how to construct a routine. Once you know the purpose of a routine (demonstrating higher value, disarming obstacles…) they became easy to make up. Yes, sometimes I felt like a liar…(”its not lying its flirting” lol) Sometimes I would return to a bar a couple weeks later and have to remember some story I made up and roll with it again. But usually these stories weren’t lies… they were stories that happened to me. I just changed names, dates, genders, to fit the mood of the moment.
I remember once, my friends and I had three different sets of girls swarmed around us waiting for me to answer the burning question “will I pussy out or will I go sky diving tomorrow?”
My friend opened the set my telling them to talk me out of being a pussy. To tell me I will regret. Tell me I only live once… blah blah… I ran with it. I used my imagination and turned a true story about my backing out of a skydiving trip… into this life or death moment of manhood bullshit that the girls ate up. Its all about how you sell it. I told the story… I had them imagining themselves in the plane. they were imagining themselves pulling the cord, the wind, the impatient tandem jump instructor yelling at me… these things made the story come alive… these things got me LAID that night. These thing got one of my friends LAID that night… the other one (with the least game) got a number and wound up fucking her three dates later. He still thanks me.
My point isn’t to brag. Its to tell you that openers are some magic mysterious lines that are hidden away for a select few. They are merely conversation starters. Once you know how to construct a good opener. Its easy. Its fun. It actually makes you look forward to going out. Things is even more true when you get to the point that you’re not using canned ones. When you go out and the night really becomes an adventure, and you’re going with the flow, and its working…. Man, you can’t ask for a better feeling!!!!!
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September 12, 2007
I just want to get that confidence when Im out with my buddys im not in the corner watching everybody dance around me and just stand there acting like a little school girl. Its pathetic. I need help in the openers, im not a bad looking guy and I can hold a conversation, its just the approach…please help.
pat
September 12, 2007
Patrick,
I left you a reply under your other comment on Social Barriers. Check it out.
October 15, 2007
I honestly think that you’ll get blown out of the water if you open with “Dental Floss, before or after you brush?”
Situational openers are better for a variety of reasons, and it’s often good to have 1-2 canned openers in the back of your mind, I’ve found the best things come out of my head when I’m on the spot.
January 3, 2008
My favorite canned opener is the who cheats more men or women one. I always use this one when I’m sarging during the day. I used other ones, but this one I found the most successful. Although this is an awesome opener, I want to create one that fits my personality and can be used in almost any situation. When that day comes, I’ll share it with you guys.
-Seraf
February 1, 2008
A fellow AFC and I (brcause i am an AFC) have been bouncing openers around and have come up with a few new ones
me: I just saw you looking at your phone there and wanted to ask your opinion, do you think technology is getting too complicated?
her: yes/no
me: well I ask because I was in the cell phone store the other day and this lady with the curleyest brown hair walks up to me and leans in real close to me and asks, “how do you change the film in a camera phone?” I kid you not!
everyone seems to get a laugh out of this and it’s easy to transition from and whats great is it really is a true story that happened.
another one that has come up is the direct introduction combined with the neg
guy: Hi, it’s nice to meet you, whats your name?
girl: Sarah (she can have any name)
guy: oh thats cool, every girl I have ever met names Sarah has been a … (you can use prude, or bitch, or skank, or pretty much say anything you want that is negative but follow up with) but I know there has to be someone to break that mold so are you like that?
it seems real jerk like but since you say there is a mold breaker it is a way to imply you think she might be and odds are their going to say their diffrent and justify themselfs to you.
Thumbs’s last blog post..challenge 4 and sick days
February 2, 2008
the cell phone opener is good… it will definately get a laugh and is non threatening and easy to transion from
thanks for sharing!
February 2, 2008
lmao i just used this tonight! did it get me laid….no but it gave me a solid number….how do i know it was solid, she just called me! anyways good shit thumbs
February 2, 2008
did you use the cell phone opener or the neg opener?
February 2, 2008
i put em together, her name was trina (HB6-7)so i asked her if she was a lil on the ditzy side and she playfully smacked me in my arm(IOI) and said she can prove to me she aint(IOI) so i hit her with, “I dont know, me and you wouldnt work … your not really my type.”
she imediatly followed “well maybe im different, but you gotta give me a chance”(IOI) so i said “well…i guess your a lil cute, but ima have to test you…test one..i need a drink” she bought me one and said that the next round was on me though…i like that. all together we spent about a half hour talking and i got a 30sec kiss before i left and she called me about an hour later asking if she has passed my tests so far so i said that i was giving her a C- but there was gonna be extra credit later
February 2, 2008
February 3, 2008
I have field tested the cell phone opener twice now, the first time i used it as an offhand remark by comparinf ways men interct with women ( was talking to a 4 set all hb 7-8) and they really did’nt enjoy it but today I used it on an a blond 7 and her mother and they both got a kick out of it.
Another one I came up with today apur of the moment was this.
I was at work and this girl had her birthday well this party was full of hb’s ranging from 6-9 and my target was the nine but i was too busy to aproach and she left. When I did aproach i used this.
me: hey it’s your brothday right?
birthday girl: yea
me: ok let me as you this real quick and then i gotta get back to work
her: ok
(everyone around her was watching too)
me: if you had to choose to get a year older or a year younger on your birthday, which would you choose?
people all got a kick out of it and the mixed answers poured in, guys saying younger because getting odl is gross, people saying older so they can drink then a debate on how you can drink under age. I stopped there because I really did have to get back to work but i thought of a great transition for it too, when asked your opinion yu can give your true answer or what i thought of, “why choose older or younger, why not alternate each year so that you never truely age and still experience the best things of being young?”
even if it’s not someones birthday it still works well.
February 3, 2008
@ Seraf: who cheats more? men or women? opener is a really good one to use, i got really bored of who lies more.
@ Teddy: That was a really smooth, playful sarge, seemed real fun too ^^.
@ Thumbs, your openers are very creative, i really like the Birthday opener, although its a rare situation.
Pzz
February 3, 2008
ahh, i shouldve used one of these last night..
i did end up running a jealous gf and a best friends routine,
although since i was already drunk it probably came out wrong, and they asked me “what are you in psychology or something??” lol
its true what they say, if your really wanting to practice sarging, dont drink too much, if at all.. lol
February 3, 2008
@ FredEx: LOL!
Same thing happened to me on Friday, i wasn’t drunk, but i forgot to put a false time constraint, and saying the purpose of the “Who lies more?” opener.
So i ended up saying that it was for a skool project XD. BUT, her reaction was good, a slight giggle, and hooked to the question, i managed to plough my way through and used the powerpuff girl routine.. until she had to go, cuz her mom was was calling her XD.
Don’t get me wrong: She was my age! She just had her mom helping her shopping lol
February 3, 2008
lol that sucks..
but at least you were sober!!
ahh i know i easily could had that 2 set i approached last night but looking back i probably came off as way too drunk, which i was lol.they were showing slight IOIs, but i didnt plow through the way i was supposed to, and i was probably rambling too much also.
but i managed to lock in for a while!! hahah
February 3, 2008
nice thumbs i like the birthday one(ima steal that one too lol)
ill post whatever responses i get to it
February 4, 2008
Happy you guys like them, I get alot of free time at work to think and most of the time im thinking about pickup arts or watching how the guys at work do it.
Yesterday I could’nt get anyone to man up and aproach the party i aproached and then today i watched one of our bussers make eye contact with a girl twice and got her number without saying a word to her… it was amazing.
What is the powerpuff girl routine?
February 4, 2008
For some reason, its one of my favourites, its basically just calling the target(s) a powerpuff girl.
Usually used as C&F..
Heres a vid to show you how its done:
http://www.bristollair.com/video/i-am-the-future/powerpuff-girls.html
And being used in an AMOG set:
http://www.bristollair.com/video/i-am-the-future/amog-set—annotated.html
Enjoy
Pzz
February 10, 2008
Had to revive this now that i remembered there was a good opener post lol I strolled across this and field tested it last night with some intresting replies, it works well as a cocky/funny opener, I did’nt get the response people said will come but I did get smiles and seductive looks.
http://www.puaratings.com/articles/ciaran-shock-and-awe-apocalypse
February 10, 2008
lol i just read this the other day, havent tried it yet
February 10, 2008
@ Thumbs, i’ve read that a while back, but forgot about it, thanks for refreshening it up on my head..
But as Jeffy says: “Thats some fucking potent shit!”..
Now imma read the evaluation of this crazy ass opener.
Pzz
February 11, 2008
It is a ballsy opener with more cocky than anything else. Its worth giving a try once or twice
February 11, 2008
Have you tried it yet?
Its definitely a ballsy opener, but tbh, theres no negative outcome from it, rejection could happen at first, but you could slowly plough through easily.
I have to try this sometime, although i don’t live by myself lool.
I like to be direct once in a while, especially when i’m in the zone.
Pzz
February 11, 2008
ima try it this weekend
February 22, 2008
Bobby, you mentioned everyone coming together and working on openers, they had something like that kinda going on the stylelife forums, it consits of this
you start with a topic say inspiring artists
the next person to post takes that topic and writes an opener for it
like
guy: quick question for you
hb: ok
guy: do you think being an artist is a real profession?
hb: yes/no
guy: i only ask because i went to a gallery opening the other day and nothing was under 5000 dollers, i actually started laughing and the artist had me thrown out, i enjoy art but it seems artists have bigger egos than anyone.
Then once they create an opener they come up with a new topic like
bottled water
and the game goes on from there. Its a fun exercise but it can get lame when you get topics like “lord of the rings” or “pokemon”