The fifth in our series of “most memorable pick-ups” comes from blogger Scott. Scott writes about building attraction, improving your game and seduction over at Underground Attraction.

The First Time it Clicked by Scott 

Like many guys on this site, I came into the seduction community because of a specific problem with my game.  In the past, I managed to have a few girlfriends and some sexual conquests.  But a lot of these were due to plain old luck or “beer balls”.

What I needed was simple.  I wanted to be able to walk up to ANY woman ANY time and make her attracted to me.

The problem was I had a HUGE fear of approaching women.  Whenever I saw a beautiful girl, I immediately experienced that “dear in headlights” feeling in my stomach.  Needless to say, this made it really hard to initiate conversations.

I knew if I wanted any success with women, I had to become comfortable with approaching them.  So one day I hopped online and did a search for “great pick up lines”.

What I discovered was simple.  Pick up lines don’t work and openers are the best way to approach women.

So without understanding why they’re important, I memorized a whole bunch of openers and went out to conquer the female world.  I drove to some club 85 miles from my house because I was afraid of running to people that I knew.

Went I got to the club, I immediately went crazy with approaching women and using my openers.  Unfortunately they didn’t seem to work.  [Looking back, I now realize that my body language was shitty, I didn’t project my voice and I was boring as hell]

Seriously, I tried almost every “successful” opener that’s out there:

The “Who Lies More” Opener

The “Jealous Girlfriend” Opener

The “Did You See the Fight Outside” Opener

And others I can’t seem to remember.

Nothing worked!  Some girls would be polite.  But even they would eventually turn their backs and cut me off from the conversation.

After trying about 20 approaches, I grew disgusted with myself and drove home.  On the ride home, I cursed openers and anyone who claimed they worked.

Fast forward 3 months….

I still had the SAME problem with approaching women.  So once again, I jumped online and did some research.

This time was different.  I learned about body language.  I studied high status and “prizing”. What I learned was it doesn’t matter what you say to women it’s how you say it.  If you can give up on caring about the outcome and simply enjoy life, women will be naturally attracted to you.

And one night I decided to test out my theories.  On a cool summer night, I met my friends at a local bar for a few drinks.

I walked in with high energy, had a big ole smile on my face and greeted my buddies.  [I just learned that women are attracted to guys who have fun].  So I told my friends a funny story about my day and made sarcastic responses about the people around us. Fortunately this worked and we were all having a good time for about half an hour.

After loosening up, I looked around for somebody to approach.  And then I saw her sitting by the bar.  Petite, cute and RED hair [God I love redheads].  The funny thing was she was looking right at me and was sending one of those “IOIs” I just heard about.

I knew I had to take my chance right then.  If I didn’t approach her, then I would kick myself on the drive home.

The problem was my mind was a complete blank.  I couldn’t of a Damn thing to say.  Not one opener.  Nothing witty, sarcastic OR cocky-funny!  Just a feeling of complete paralysis.

Only one thing came to my head:

“The outcome doesn’t matter…just talk to her”

So that’s what I did.  I walked up to her [With what I hoped was good body language] and said:

ME: “What’s up with you?” [That’s all I could think of at the time]

HER: “What do you mean?”

ME: [Jackass…think of something witty to say] “Looks like your friends ditched you.  What do you have a disease or something? ” [Yeah I actually said that]

HER: [Actually laughing…] “No [Hee hee], my friend is talking to some guy and seems to have disappeared.”

ME: [SCORE!!!] “Well, I guess it’s time to make a new friend.  I’m Scott…” [Think I read that somewhere]

The rest went incredibly well.  Veronica was renting a house with some friends during the summer and was a teacher during the school year.  I busted on her name and asked if she knew that Elvis Costello song.  Overall, the conversation wasn’t perfect.  But I at least had the courage to start talking to her.

We did kiss that night and I got her number.  We went on a few dates, but it really didn’t pan out.

Now, I’ll be the first to say this was NOT a good approach.  In fact, I can now think of a DOZEN mistakes I made.

The point is simple.  In order to overcome my anxiety and fear, I had to “let go” of any general desire for this girl.  [Thank you Tao of Steve!]  Instead of using a fancy opener, I just relaxed and enjoyed the moment.

Currently, I’m a big fan of openers.  But before you use them, it’s important to understand why they’re used. They’re designed to simply get a girl to talk to you.

So it really doesn’t matter what words you use.  As long as you say it with confidence and cocksure grin, most women will drawn to you.

It’s been almost two years since I did this approach.  During this time, I’ve fine tuned my techniques.  Also I’ve read and tested almost every technique I’ve come across.

Some worked well.  While others were complete disasters.

But the best lesson I ever learned about approaching women was the power of simply not caring and just having a conversation.  If she doesn’t like you, then move and find somebody who does.  Eventually your successes will heavily outweigh your failures.

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