Positive body language is one of those topics that always needs to be stressed and refreshed. The post below is a guest post one of our readers sent in on the subject of body language.
5 Critical Elements of Body Language by Rockstar
Body language is such an important element of pick up because it makes up almost eighty percent of communication, not to mention the majority of people who are visual learners. This means that she will probably remember your completely relaxed posture rather than that joke you’ve been spending hours to perfect. Also, your body language has to be able to spark an initial interest when she and her friends are looking around for guys. There are books and collegiate courses covering this, and rather than put you to sleep with more detail than necessary, I’m going to cut this down to five key factors.
- Walk- almost every guy I see approaching a girl, is either fidgeting or has his hands in his pockets. Our hands are an extremely important and delicate part of the human body. When we feel threatened or insecure, we want to protect them. Fidgeting demonstrates nervousness, nervousness creates weaker rapport, weak rapport means enjoy sleeping alone tonight. Let your hands hang naturally, swaying a little as you walk.
- Arms-leave the crossed arms for scornful bosses and reprimanding parents. This is the most defensive and closed-minded position the arms can take. I prefer to put my hands in my back pockets once I’ve started talking to a girl. It makes your torso vulnerable, indicating a very confident and comfortable state of mind.
- Eye contact- if you notice, there aren’t many romantic scenes in the movies where the guy is looking in the other direction of the girl. Whether it’s some girl or your boss, always look at the person you’re talking to, and DO NOT look below her neck line. You’re trying to portray the “cool guy” who gets plenty of girls, not the loser who can’t get over her cup size.
- Posture-the focus of rapport building is establishing a comfortable relationship with the other person, which starts with a comfortable posture. Despite what Grandma Gertrude said, do not sit perfectly straight; however, do not look like you could fall asleep at any minute. Leaning against a bar, or if you’re seated, resting your head in your hand is also good. Show disinterest, but don’t treat her like that totally boring home economics teacher.
- Kino-establishing a physical connection early on in conversation is important in lowering a girl’s defenses. However, it’s probably not good to grab her ass within the first fifteen seconds of meeting her. Handshakes, brushing lint off, or my personal favorite, palmistry. Women will remember you more by the way you touched her hand, not the way you tied a cherry stem with your tongue.
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December 5, 2007
Good advice RockStar,
simple stuff like this can make all the difference in a pickup attempt.
Next time your out just watch guys body language. you’ll be able to tell just by looking at the way they carry themselves who is getting laid regularly and who isnt
December 5, 2007
the eye contact part I break often to look around to show some disintrest but that can be overdone and ruin it so a good balance works perfect…and kino is soooooo important and works soooooo good(PUA’s best weapon)
December 12, 2007
unfortunately, ive noticed that i often tend to avoid eye contact when im talking to a girl im into..
i dunno why, cuz usually ill keep eye contact with anyone else just to show dominance, but ive noticed that for the girls that count i tend to look elsewhere.
bad habit i know, but im working on it.
December 13, 2007
hey fre if u look at the bridge of the nose to her it seems as u are looking in her eyes but u wont feel that intimadation or whatever plus i heard if u make a circle of looking into one eye then the next and then her lips and repeat it somewhat slowly it does something to em(i think it was in the game but not sure i havent read it since it came out)
December 13, 2007
Fredex,
whenever a loud sound goes off, everyone in the room blinks? Why? Because it is a natural reflex to protect such a delicate and important part of the body. Kids (and me sometimes) will look away from the movie screen because they are expecting to be frightened. What you’re doing is a motor response programmed into all humans which goes off to protect our eyes when we feel threatened. All you can do is recognize this and avoid it.
January 5, 2008
I’ve committed mistakes on all 5 of those listed in the article back in the past. I’ve improved on every one of them, but eye contact still remains that hardest part to change.
I can look at her when she’s talking to me, but when I look at her, my brain goes blank. I have to look away to gather my thoughts and then I return to my eye contact. I definitely need more practice in this field.
-Seraf