Last night after the radio show Mike Stoute and I headed over to a local pub for a couple beers. The radio show was quite stressful as there was a shit load of technical difficulties with the transmitter… which messed the phone lines up, and hence, instead of talking to our planned guest we were forced to improvise. It left us feeling drained and just looking to unwind. The both of us already had girls we were going to be meeting later on, so our intentions were solely to chat a little and throw a few beers back.
As some of you know, both Mike and I are recenty single, and once again experiencing some of the things that make dating such a pain in the ass. Our conversation at the bar turned towards the girls we were going to be meeting later on in the night. Both of us had been dating these girls for a brief period of time and already beginning to experience the “what is this” or “where is this going” or “what should I tell my friends we are” talk. The talk that takes the fun out of casual relationships.
Mike and I were telling each other various stories of time’s we’ve been in the situation and how the different girls reacted. We were trying to come up with the “right” way to answer the dreaded “what is this?” question. Although the topic was some what serious, we began making a goof of it by coming up with over the top comebacks to the question. “Well, Sally now that you’ve asked… I thought we would spend a few weeks fucking, you know, to keep by dick occupied until something better comes along.” The goofing put us in a better mood and got us laughing a bit.
Keen to the fact that there were two fairly attractive girls standing next to us sipping drinks, Mike casually turns to them and says “Whats the best way to respond to a girl when she asks ‘what is this’ and you’re not really into her?” The girls were all too eager to jump in with their opinions. The four of us quickly became immersed in conversation. Soon the question became “what do you say when someone tells you ‘I love you’ during sex, and you don’t feel the same way? This got the conversations even livelier and more provocative. Soon the two girls were met by another female friend and instantly dragged her into the conversations, introducing us to her as if we were long time acquaintances.
After getting a handful of text messages from the girls we were supposed to be meeting later on, we decided to call it an evening and head home. Although both of the girls we were talking to at the bar were attractive, neither of them struck enough interest in Mike or I to ask for numbers. So we said goodbye and left.
On the way home I got to thinking how smoothly the whole conversation transpired. It reminded me of another time a few months back when I used an opinion opener that lead to a one night stand. I posted that story in our new field reports section if you missed it originally when I posted it awhile back. What the two nights had in common, and what I believe made the openers work so smoothly, was the fact that they were legitimate questions that we wanted the answer to.
(On First Page) 1 2
By Bobby RioRead More:
1
2
3
4
March 1, 2008
firts, those are some real good openers because i think everyone has wonderd that, men and women. i could see soooo much come from those openers plus they will automaticly assume your asking for yourself which gives you some dhv in the opener.
second, i totaly agree you do need some vested intrest in it, i learned that while being a telemarketer, if you dont have any intrest or emotion in it, it sounds like reading the script which didnt make you money calling ppl. But once you memorize it and talk with sincerity you would get better responses and more money and the same goes for pickup. thats the reason i like openers that ive wonderd or asked before, because it just seems so much more valid plus it allows you alot more to speak on it or very good transition storys.
Good Post!
Teddy Bear’s last blog post..Using an Opinion Opener to Initiate a Conversation
March 2, 2008
Opinion openeres are great but you realy have to have some curiosity in them, I likes Strauss’s 80s duo opener but i had to change it becaue i was born in the 90’s so I like to go with
“hey my sister wants to get two puppies but she said she has to name them after a famouse band, i thought of AC and DC but spelling htem A-c-i-e and D-E-E-C-i, what would you name them?”
i used this and actually got a great response from a girl of “van and Halen”
you also get tihngs like Brooks and Dunn
so all around its fun if you open it up more
also on the spot openers can be fun, i used thiso ne the other night on a waitress
“excuse me, my friend and I were just arguing about you, how old are you?”
they usually set a hoop “how old do I look”
response “do you want me to guess high or low”
her: “i want you to guess what you really think”
me: i said 19 he said 21
her: im actually 16 (yea wow i was shocked)
me: ha so i was right
her: about what
me: you are a cherrleader in highschool!
her: well i use to be not any more now i play vollyball
it worked well
March 2, 2008
This is another great post.
I can’t believe most guys would just use canned openers without vested interest. I could understand newbies who just started learning the game.
But for those who are atleast experienced, should develop interesting opinion openers, or feel atleast interested with the question rather than running in scripts. And most importantly backed up with reason.
When i first read about opninion openers, i used the ones that i thought that would be interesting to use, Style’s 80s pop duo, doesn’t seem to fit well for me. Who lies more opener was something i was more interested about in using. - Especially the cologne opener, i found it more beneficial.
Although openers are just used to open, i agree that putting more emotional interest would deliver better reactions. It gives you the enthusiasm, curiosity and energy.
Pzz
March 2, 2008
This was a big problem for me when starting out ( which was right around the time the show debuted). I would use an opener not even from the show, and I would get called out. I totally agree that it was because my words weren’t congruent with my actions and I was not displaying high enough energy or emotional investment. You totally hit the nail on the head when you say that you need those in order to have an opinion opener work cuz thats what makes it look genuine.
March 2, 2008
[...] Using an Opinion Opener to Initiate a Conversation : A modern men’s r From: http://www.theseductionbible.com Last night after the radio show Mike Stoute and I headed over to a local pub for a couple beers. The radio show was quite stressful as there was a shit load of technical difficulties with the transmitter… which messed the phone lines up, and hence, instead of talking to our planned guest we were forced to improvise. It left us feeling draine » more 1 [...]
March 2, 2008
really great article you inspired me